Entries from November 2009 ↓

By Belinda Daly

What is anchoring? Anchoring is an outside stimulus that activates a particular inner state or reaction within you. In 1904 it was the Russian psychologist Pavlov who discovered about anchoring by experimenting on dogs. Every time he fed the salivating dogs he would ring a bell. He did this several times and in the end the dogs would automatically start to salivate every time they heard the bell. Pavlov had found out that it was not the smell of the meat that made the dogs salivate but the conditioned response which was the sound of the ringing bell. The bell had conditioned the dogs to salivate.

The fact is you subconsciously respond to anchors all the time. For example the smell of freshly baked bread might remind you of a Sunday morning because your mother would always baked bread on a Sunday morning. The warm bread smell might give you a happy and carefree feeling inside like you experienced as a child.

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We all know what it is like to be wronged. Maybe someone you trust hurt you recently – perhaps your boyfriend lied to you or a visiting relative made a cutting comment about your shape. Or it could be that pain runs deeper – beginning when you were a child and rippling out, like rings in a pond, into your adult life.

Whatever the specifics, even the smallest of hurts can feel intense. And, often, the idea of extending forgiveness is incomprehensible for days, months or even years after the initial wound. But it’s said that to err is human, to forgive divine; now, mounting evidence suggests that, for those who can give up their grudges, the physical and psychological rewards may well be great.

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The way we approach our life is the same as how we view a glass of water. When someone sees a glass as being half empty, their outlook is a pessimistic one. The contrary to that is someone who optimistically sees the glass as half full.

We can either choose to have an optimistic outlook or a pessimistic one. Unfortunately, a lot of people are not aware that they habitually think of what’s wrong before thinking about what’s right.

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Scientists state that we only use 10% of our minds.  Think about what I just said.  We use only 10% of our minds!  We are wasting the other 90%.  Think of it this way….what if we only used 10% of our salary?  Could we survive on 10% of our salary?  No way, unless your Bill Gates.  What about eating only 10% of the food we make?  Wouldn’t that be a waste of food?  What if we slept only 10% of 8 hours or 80 minutes a day?  Could we survive?  What if we had only 10% of the oxygen that was available?  Could we survive?  The answer to all these questions is a resounding NO!

So why do we put up with using only 10% of our brain?  Look at your life.  Are you living the life you want….on your terms?  Are you happy with what you’ve created or do you think it could be better?  Chances are that you are living to only 10% of your abilities.  What if you could make your life 100, 500, or 1,000% better?  I can hear you now saying…”That’s impossible” or “that’s too hard to do.”   If you did say that, you’re repeating the same pattern in your life, which is you are using only 10% of your brain or less.

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Meditation has been practiced around the world for thousands of years. It is a techiniqe used to quiet the mind and body, and release stress. It can also bring focus and clarity, and often, after meditating, problems that you have been struggling with, miraculously become solved. Meditation has also been known to inspire people to write, and to spur lucrative business ideas, as your subconscious comes to light.

One simple form of meditation, requires you to sit in a quiet room, either on a pillow, or cross-legged on the floor, or in a comfortable chair, making sure your spine is straight. It is advised that you use the same place every day. It is also suggested that you personalize your spot, by beautifying it with candles, flowers, and pictures of the people that you love.

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3. Build Your Safety Net.
Financial safety nets are vital, especially for a woman with kids or a single woman with elderly parents.
“A common perception among women is that we can get insurance later, when we can afford it,” says Jacqueline Chua, Business Development, Van Gogh Preferred Banking, ABN AMRO Bank. “But premiums get more expensive as we get older.” Insurance firms tend to think women over 40 are more prone to “women’s illnesses”, so premiums at many firms rise sharply around ths age.
There is no set rule on how much you should spend on insurance, which can over your life, mortgage or health, but most experts recommend coverage of at least eight to 10 times your annual income.
“You should spend about 10 per cent of your disposable income on insurance, but this will vary with your lifestyle and stage in life,” says Lim Meng Tat, Chief Marketing Officer, AXA Wealth Management. He points out that many women overlook the importance of medical and critical illness plans, which he rates as more crucial than protection for loss of income and lifestyle.
“As she advances in age, a woman must look at long – term care. So, she should consider a good disability plan. And for life protection, consider term protection instead of a life plan for affordable maximum coverage.”

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Here’s how to revolutionise your life and never have to worry about money again!

Good News: You don’t need to win 4D to be rich. Neither do you need to hold three jobs simultaneously or stay in the office till midnight. In fact, experts say that following  just five easy money rules will put you in control of your cash, for life.

1. Pay Yourself First.
Most of us try to save what’s left over at the end of the month – but nothing is ever left! So before you pay other bills, set aside a sum to “pay” yourself – that’s your savings, and the basis of your investment plan. Most bankers advise you to put aside 10 to 15 per cent of your income each month and aim to build an emergency fund. “It should be cash or easily accessible,” says Cedric Luah, Head of Financial Planning at DBS Bank.
This emergency fund will come in handy should you lose your job or face a large medical bill. “As a general rule, set aside three to six months of your monthly salary,” advises Cedric.
Regular savings accounts have low interest rates, so you’ll do better with short – term fixed deposits – but nothing longer than three to six months, Cedric notes. And be prepared to lose the interest if you need to withdraw it in a hurry.
Anne Tay, Vise President, Wealth Management at OCBC, adds, “Don’t depend on your husband to save for the both of you. Save as a joint exercise and have a back – up plan fo important needs. Ideally, you should have some savings of your own, aside from joint savings.”
But there’s such a thing as saving too much and being under – invested. So, see a financial adviser, whose initial advise will be free.

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Are You Managing Or Micro – Managing?
Whether it’s a task you assign to your manager or maid, do you:
a. feel relieved the monkey’s off your back.
b. Give them enough room to prove themselves.
c. Regret the decision immediately.

When A colleague’s idea is chosen over yours, do you:
a. Dismiss her as the boss’ favourite.
b. Assess the merits of her plan and learn from it.
c. Debate with her after the meeting is over on why your idea is better.

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How to really tell if too much control is getting you down.

Juggle Bungle – that’s just what you want to avoid. The kids have tests coming up, you need to train the new maid, there’s a pile of office assignments to complete. And next month’s holiday air – tickets haven’t been booked, the boss wants ideas for the new account, you need to pick up the dry – cleaning…
What’s a woman to do? Manage everything, of course!
So you issue lists to your husband, call your kids, email your colleagues, take notes, make more lists, trying to do it all… and then you find out that they’ve been calling you a micro – manager – bossy, demanding, interfering, or worst of all, a “control freak”!
What’s more, all this organising can be very stressful. You may find yourself grinding your teeth, not sleeping well, and even developing a fast heartbeat. There’s also the risk of developing hypertension, heart attacks and peptic ulcers.
Emotionally, you become uptight. And because you are unable to take a break from taking charge, you feel mentally spent and burnt out.
Worst of all, you worry that if you let up for a second, all hell will break loose and you will have failed, as a wife, woman and mother.

Are you too controlling?
“Over – controllers are usually “preoccupied with orderliness, rules and perfectionism”, says Dr Adrian Wang, consultant psychiatrist at the Anxiety and Mood Clinic at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).
He points out that some degree of perfectionism or attention to detail is necessary in life – the key is getting the balance right. “For example, I would want my dentist or pilot to be exacting in doing his or her tasks,” explains Dr Wang. “But control becomes a little to much when you must be in control all the time for everything.”

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