How to really tell if too much control is getting you down.

Juggle Bungle – that’s just what you want to avoid. The kids have tests coming up, you need to train the new maid, there’s a pile of office assignments to complete. And next month’s holiday air – tickets haven’t been booked, the boss wants ideas for the new account, you need to pick up the dry – cleaning…
What’s a woman to do? Manage everything, of course!
So you issue lists to your husband, call your kids, email your colleagues, take notes, make more lists, trying to do it all… and then you find out that they’ve been calling you a micro – manager – bossy, demanding, interfering, or worst of all, a “control freak”!
What’s more, all this organising can be very stressful. You may find yourself grinding your teeth, not sleeping well, and even developing a fast heartbeat. There’s also the risk of developing hypertension, heart attacks and peptic ulcers.
Emotionally, you become uptight. And because you are unable to take a break from taking charge, you feel mentally spent and burnt out.
Worst of all, you worry that if you let up for a second, all hell will break loose and you will have failed, as a wife, woman and mother.

Are you too controlling?
“Over – controllers are usually “preoccupied with orderliness, rules and perfectionism”, says Dr Adrian Wang, consultant psychiatrist at the Anxiety and Mood Clinic at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).
He points out that some degree of perfectionism or attention to detail is necessary in life – the key is getting the balance right. “For example, I would want my dentist or pilot to be exacting in doing his or her tasks,” explains Dr Wang. “But control becomes a little to much when you must be in control all the time for everything.”

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Keep Smiling.
Body language is often more important than the words you use. After studying conversations in work and social places, researchers worldwide found that when it comes to remembering information, only seven per cent comes from the words we use – the rest comes from body language.
We naturally prefer a person who smiles, walks confidently and looks us in the eye because it lifts our spirits – and everyone likes to feel happier. But when we attend a social or work event, we’re often so nervous about meeting new people, or doing something “wrong” that all we can do is think about ourselves. So if someone talks to us, we either clam up, or we ramble on endlessly!
To make a good first impression, focus on making others feel comfortable. They’re just as nervous as you are, so don’t worry about dazzling them with witty talk, just help them feel comfortable. Ask them questions about themselves, or share a joke.
“Laughter helps defuse tension reducing stress – hormone levels,” explains psychologist Dr Shapiro. “Plus it helps you feel closer to each other because you are both sharing the fact that you see something from the same point of view.”

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Some people seem to know how to make a great first impression. Are they just lucky, or do they know something you don’t?

Why do some people seem to be lucky so often? They just breeze through life meeting great new friends, or they land great jobs without studying the Classifieds. “Oh, I bumped into someone and she mentioned an opening at her company,” they say happily.
Most of us merely shrug when this happens and think, “She really knows how to get on with people, right from the start. I wish I had her good luck.” But the truth is, we make a lot of our own good luck, with a combination of good attitude, hard work and body language. So all of us can be more fortunate, if we’re prepared to adapt a little. Here are some surprising secrets researchers have discovered about boosting your luck:

Do It Differently.
Studies show that “unlucky” people tend to fear change. When they meet a new person, they tend to say silent, or ignore them. In contrast, people who consider themselves lucky tend to chat more easily at work events or introduce themselves to others at parties – which means they increase their chances of meeting more useful contacts.
Dr Richard Wiseman, head of the psychology research department at the University of Hertfordshire in England, has been studying what makes some people lucky, and others less lucky. His studies show that your self – confidence greatly affects your luck. Dr Wiseman first notes that there is a difference between chance and luck – chance is something you can’t control, like winning a lottery. But luck is different.
He says, “Unlucky people tend to stick to routines. When they see something new, they want no part of it. Lucky people are prepared to take risks and are relaxed enough to see opportunities.”
In other words, people who just happen to hear about a great new job at a work event or meet a wonderful new friend in the supermarket turn out, on closer inspection, to be the kind of people who take the small risk of chit – chatting with a stranger.

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She’s your deskside counsellor, e-mail sparring partner and confidante over morning tea. But can the workmate who knows too much prove dangerous for your career?

Friends at work can make the office tolerable, even fun. But they know the real you. They know how badly or how well you deal with stress and how often you make personal phone calls.

This intimacy can create strong bonds, but it can give your work friend power over you too. To protect yourself from being manipulated or disappointed, adopt some of these strategies for self – preservation… Continue reading →

Here is 10 way to fix your finances in just 1 hour :

In Your Lunch Hour :

1. Save Time With The Internet.
Don’t waste time queuning at the bank. While chomping on your sandwich at your desk, you can still sort out your finances, as long as you have secure access to the internet. Use your lunch hour to pay bills, transfer funds to a savings account, update your account details, check your latest credit card statements or redeem rewards from your credit card. All you need are your account details and pin numbers. But don’t save login details on your office computer, and be sure to log off your banking site properly after you’re done.

2. Make Your Savings Work Harder.
Research shows a woman is more likely to get divorced than change her bank. Most banks offer similar service and interest rates, but there are subtle differences between various accounts. For instance, you may have surplus cash in an ordinary account which pays very little interest, as compared to interest paid in specialist accounts or a time deposit. Use your lunch time to do comparative “shopping” by checking out the different types of accounts.
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We asked experts worldwide for their best cash control tips in the different areas that can easily get out of hand.

Good Money Management

1. Pay yourself first. Before you start spending your monthly salary, set aside money each month that goes towards savings, insurance and your retirement plan.

2. Be prepared for money emergencies. Set aside a sum equal to six months of your income for emergencies, such as retrenchment or sickness. This should be over and above your other savings and investments.

3. Make savings automatic. Set up direct Giro payments, so a percentage of your salary is automatically transferred every month from your salary to an investement account. It makes saving hasslefree. Aim to save at least 10 t0 20 per cent of your disposable income each month. Continue reading →

It is identified as the ultimate key to happiness, the door to success, the path to healthy relationships, the essential component of personal fulfillment, and the ingredient for eliminating toxic ones. What is this very important “it”? “It” is self – esteem.

According to the National Council for Self – esteem in Sacramento, California, self – esteem is “the feeling that you are worthy of happiness and capable of managing life’s challenges.” For many, self – esteem is an elusive ingredient. Yet psychologists universally agree that it can be cultivated by anyone. Continue reading →

Hauling Your Car to a workshop can be daunting – from the car – speak mechanics use to the oil stains you get on your shoes – no one likes to stand around in a workshop any longer than they have to. And, of course, there’s the bill.

Here’s how you can save a little every time you take your car to the workshop. It may only be a few Ringgit each time, but it’s surprising how they add up.

1. Be prepared
An independent study in Indonesia confirmed that the top three causes of car breakdowns on the road are: Running out of petrol, tyre troubles and problems with the cooling system (overheating). All of these can be prevented by keeping your tank at least half – full as this helps preserve the cleanliness of the fuel system; making sure your tyres are in good condition and the wheels aligned properly; and keeping a large bottle of water and engine coolant in your boot. If you do not know how to add them to your engine, get a knowledgeable friend to show you. Continue reading →

These are tips for reduce tension :

1, Discover the substantial cause of stress.

2, Cases causing stress had better be noted down and analyse it once in a month.

3, Your responses to each stressful cases had better be recollected and compared with one another.

4, Should not give quick responce to stressful case ,always take little time to think.

5, If any tension comes ask your inner man(Mind)for a solution,he is more intelligent than you. Continue reading →